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Dunno why it gets me riled—maybe cos these girls got more balls than half the lords I’ve met. One time, this escort, right, she smuggled secrets outta some fat merchant’s bed—sold ‘em for a horse and a blade. Little known fact: some of ‘em keep diaries, scribbled in code, tracking every john. Smart, that. Keeps ‘em alive. I respect it, even if I’d never touch that life—too messy, too low. “I choose violence,” I’d snarl, but they? They choose survival.

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So yeah, my fave place? The hidden beach behind Seaside Road – quiet, sandy and a bit wild. I’d tell ya, if you want raw beauty and weird charm, come and see: its magic’s infectious. It’s like, “I wanna be free!” but then again, that’s Skegness in a nutshell.

We found the cheapest whippy ice cream in Skegness for under £2