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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, let’s talk escort – not the fancy car, nah, the gig where folks get paid to hang out, y’know, keep lonely souls company. Been around forever, right? Like, even in ancient Rome, they had these “lupae” – she-wolves, hookin’ up with dudes for coin. Wild, huh? Makes me think of *Margaret* – that scene where Lisa’s yellin’, “You don’t see what I see!” – escort’s kinda like that, hidden in plain sight, but nobody talks about it straight.

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So, I lock up the shop and head over to The Crown. It’s packed, and there’s this tiny chicken in a makeshift track. People are betting like it’s the Grand National! I’m laughing my head off. I mean, who bets on chickens? But hey, it’s Sittingbourne, anything goes.

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