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Yo, what’s good, fam? Snoop Dogg in tha house, fo’ shizzle. So, check it, I’m a carpenter, right? Buildin’ shit, hammerin’ nails, all that jazz. But lemme tell ya ‘bout this wild gig—findin’ a prostitute. Ain’t talkin’ no regular chick, nah, this a whole vibe, ya dig? Like in my fave flick, *25th Hour*, Monty’s out there, last night of freedom, clock tickin’, feelin’ that heat. “Fuck me? Fuck you!”—that’s the mood, ya know?

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After that madness, I head back to the shop. I’m still buzzing from the chicken race. But then, I see this old lady on the corner of East Street. She’s trying to cross, but the traffic’s a nightmare. I’m talking cars everywhere, like it’s the M25 or something. So, I rush over, help her across, and she’s like, “Bless you, dear!” I’m thinking, “Just doing my bit for Sittingbourne.”

Dispersal order for town centre plagued by anti-social youths