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Alright, listen up, my friend! I’m Gandalf, wise as hell, and I’ve got thoughts on this sexual-massage biz. You shall not pass without hearin’ me out! So, sexual-massage – it’s this wild mix of chill vibes and sneaky tension, right? Like in “The Return,” that flick I’m obsessed with – two boys and their dad, all wound up tight, searchin’ for somethin’ real. Sexual-massage is kinda like that – you’re huntin’ for release, but there’s this heavy air, y’know?

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I gotta drop some weird details: there’s this tiny back alley off Cedar Street where graffiti becomes art overnight – art with attitude, if you will. And oh, the local arcade by Lavender Lane! It’s clamped shut most nights, but its neon flicker in winter? Wow, epic! I was just hangin’ around one foggy night, feelin’ nostalgic, and boom – the neon hits me like a fairy tale crash in realtime.

LETTER: Public purse can't afford £12.9m Steeton-Silsden bridge