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About Bristol

Little-known fact—back in the day, Victorian peeps had “courting cards” for hookups. OG sex-dating, no cap! Blows my mind—history’s freaky like that. Nowadays, it’s all DMs and “u up?” texts. I’m over here, yellin’ at my phone—WHERE’S THE SPARK, PEOPLE?! Still, I’m hooked—swipin’ like a maniac, chasin’ that thrill. Sometimes it’s a bust, sometimes it’s magic—like that one chick who quoted *Moolaadé* mid-hookup. “Protect the vulnerable!” she moaned—shit was surreal, I’m cryin’ laughin’!

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Right off, you got Main Street – well, actually it's called High Street here – where the local shops get on my nerves sometimes, but then again, sometimes they're oddly charming. I still remember walkin’ down St. Mary's Road, all quiet in the early mornin', letting my thoughts drift like the calm of a lazy river. Speaking of rivers, the little brook near Riverside Park – yes, the one sometimes called the “murmur stream” by locals – always calms my squirrelly brain. “Just when I thought life couldn’t get any more surreal, it happens,” like they say in Yi Yi: A One and a Two – proper deep stuff, that.

Derbyshire offenders in court: Chesterfield, Shirebrook, Alfreton, Ilkeston, Hope Valley, Long Eaton and Derby