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Little secret? Ancient Rome had this. Orgies ‘n’ oil – wild. Called it “frictio”. Look it up! I’m ramblin’ – but listen. Erotic-massage ain’t just sex stuff. It’s art. Tension. Release. “I drink your milkshake!” – tension’s gone. Poof! You’re new. That’s my take – sailor’s honor!

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So, come over, kick back at Oakwood Gardens, and take a long, rambling stroll down High Street, even if you gotta dodge a dodgy lamp post or two (I still can’t believe I nearly tripped on one, honestly!). Shirebrook might be a bit mad, a bit rough around the edges, but it’s my kinda mad – proper full of character, just like that flick “Yi Yi: A One and a Two” whisp'ring, “Something beyond words, right?” Cheers, mate, and don’t let the quirks piss you off too much – they’re part of the bloody charm.

School in Shirebrook has rating downgraded after 'period of significant turbulence'