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But here’s the kicker—what pisses me off? The cheeky sods who try rippin’ ya off. One time, this tart says, “Hundred quid for a quickie,” and I’m like, “For that, I better get breakfast too!” Made me proper mad, but I laughed it off—Bond don’t lose his cool. Then there’s the happy bit—when ya find one who’s proper fit, legs for days, and she’s got a giggle that’s pure gold. Surprised me once, this one gal knew judo—nearly flipped me over! “Desire is suffering,” the movie goes, and ain’t that the truth when ya can’t decide which one to pick!

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I live here now, a relax dude in a noisy world. I cruise over Lionheart Park, sometimes on bike, sometimes just to clear my head. The trees, man, the trees are like silent guardians. And that little brook near Westfield Lane – whispers secrets, echoes of days that pass, like "The Return" said: "Time doesn't change a thing."

County Durham flats to be turned into five-bedroom house