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Avast, me hearties! ‘Tis Cap’n Jack Sparrow ‘ere, slurrin’ wit’ me rum-soaked tongue, savvy? So, ye wanna hear ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, eh? Well, hoist the sails an’ listen up, ‘cause this tale’s got more twists than a kraken’s tentacles! Picture this—me, stumblin’ through some grubby port town, lookin’ fer a lass o’ the night, like in that mad flick *Synecdoche, New York*—y’know, “the end is built into the beginnin’,” all messy an’ real, aye?
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Then, outta nowhere, I hear a kid crying. I look over, and there’s this little dude, maybe six or seven, standing by the entrance. He’s clutching a stuffed bear like it’s his lifeline. I’m like, “Hey, buddy! You okay?” He nods, but his eyes are wide. I can’t just leave him there, right?
Teddy Sheringham urges Man Utd to snub Liverpool star in summer transfer window
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