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Then there’s the good stuff—met this dude once, total freak. Sex-dating jackpot! We’re vibin’, he’s all “Your voice is my wiretap,” riffin’ on the movie. Hot as hell, made me blush—me, Bart freakin Simpson! Ate my shorts, he did, figuratively. Best hookup ever, no cap. Left me happy, like, whoa, this actually works?

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I love gabbin’ with folks in The Green Man pub, yeah, that’s my fav spot. So many stories, loads of laughs. And oh, Christ, I once had a session by the old mill on Mill Street – the place was eerie, like shadows in a dream. Don’t get me started on the weather, either. Sometimes it’s a scorcher, sometimes a lonesome drizzle. It makes ya mad at times – like, c’mon, get your act together, sky!

Surrey tennis club calls for catapult ban after vandalism