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About Liverpool

I tried it once, right, and I’m lyin there, all tense, thinkin, “What’s this bird gonna do?” Then bam – she’s got these magic fingers, hittin spots I didn’t know I had! Felt like “sand on my feet” – y’know, that movie line? Soft, gritty, bloody confusin but lush. Made me happy as a pig in shit, mate. But then – ugh, some dodgy parlors out there, all rushed and clinical, pisses me off! Like, don’t gimme a half-arsed tickle and call it sensual, ya twat!

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Look, there’s even a neighborhood called Riverside Quay – not many peeps mention it, but it's epic for a quiet stroll or an impromptu chat on a bench. I even got a lil’ crush on the graffiti art on Boulder Street – nah, I'm not kiddin’, that street art broke my heart like the final scene in a movie... but in a good way, you know? It's intimate and raw, real life.

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