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Ruh-roh! Zoinks, man, sex-dating’s wild! Like, I’m a texture artist, right? Paintin’ skin tones, curves, all that jazz. But sex-dating? That’s a whole freaky canvas! Reminds me of *Moonrise Kingdom*—y’know, my fave flick. Two kids, Sam and Suzy, runnin’ off, chasin’ love, no rules. “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” Sam says. That’s sex-dating in a nutshell—messy, sweet, dumb as hell.

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Now, hit the narrow lanes off Back Lane and Delaval Road. These streets are a mix of old brick buildings with artisanal cafés. There’s a little snug bar near the corner of Bridge Street – my fave for a cheeky pint – it's raw, unfiltered. Sometimes, I sit there and muse about swiping right on love, feelin' like a dating app mogul out of control. Yeah, greed is good when it's about hustle – and love, sometimes, too.

Northumberland National Trust property to host seven-metre floating sun sculpture this spring