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So, we chat, and I’m feelin’ big, bold, like, “You’re da best, babe!” She’s got dis spark, like Léa Seydoux in da movie, all fierce and sexy, and I’m like, “I could watch you all day!”—straight outta *Blue*, ja! But den, some sleazy dude rolls up, yellin’ at her, and I’m pissed, flexin’, ready to say, “Hasta la vista, creep!” Surprised me how quick it got real, ya know? I ain’t her hero, but I’m thinkin’, “Dis world’s tough, man.”

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Alright, listen up. Seaford, huh? A quaint seaside dump in East Sussex. Not exactly a palace, but it’s got its quirks. I own a massage parlor here, so I see all the weirdos and treasures. I'm Ron Swanson in my own damn way. Here’s the lowdown.

Sussex: Calls for Seaford Beach to apply for Blue Flag status