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About Birmingham

Alright, so I’m the prison warden, right? Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute—wild stuff, ok? Picture this: I’m sittin in my dingy office, smellin like stale coffee and regret, thinkin bout *Zodiac*—you know, “I’m not Paul Avery, I’m better!”—and I’m like, why not chase a lil chaos myself? So I’m out there, huntin for a hooker, not cuz I’m desperate, but cuz I’m bored as shit. Prison life’s dull, y’all—same gray walls, same whiny inmates. Needed a thrill, somethin to make me feel alive, ya feel me?

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The local park, Lovelace Gardens (yes, that name’s spot-on), is where folks come for a breath, a cuddle, maybe a scandalous rendezvous under the trees. I remember when I first strolled there, damn, my heart raced like I was about to drop a truth bomb in a public lecture – I was like "Shoot, I'm alive!" The trees, the benches, even the awkward pigeons made me think about the juxtaposition between raw sexuality and pure nature. Total Eric Andre mayhem in a garden!

Sawtry swimming pool to close due to 'escalating financial pressures'