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So, picture this—I’m sittin’ with ya, buddy, sippin’ cheap coffee, spillin’ my guts. Sex escorts, man, they’re everywhere, but nobody talks bout it straight. Didja know some old-school escorts in Vegas used to trade secrets in code? Like, little notes passed in casinos—wild, right? Kept the cops guessin’. Makes me happy thinkin’ bout that—stickin’ it to the man! But then I get mad, ‘cause billionaires? They’re payin’ top dollar for this while folks can’t afford bread. “Billionaires should not exist!”—they’re hoggin’ all the damn fun!

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Oh, and the parks! Brighton Green Park – no, wait, that’s not it – I mean, the lovely little Sandhurst Gardens on North Road – right next to the river Thames (yup, the Thames flows nearby, messy and mysterious like a crazy mix tape of life). This river always had me thinkin’ of Boonmee’s slow, winding moments – life unfolding like ripples on water! And no lie, on some days my mood swings harder than the Thames in a storm, but hey, that’s life in Sandhurst.

The Duchess of Edinburgh opens Sandhurst facility for Army musicians