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About London

Me thinks it started way back, ancient Rome maybe. Rich blokes, togas off, oiled up – kinky! Little fact: Cleopatra, she loved it, snake oil, ha! Bet she hissed, “Harder, you fool!” Makes me giggle, ssssneaky queen. “Toni says, what’s real?” – is it love or just horny vibes? Dunno, precious, dunno!

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Walkin’ 'round, you'll hit Place 1 and whack in a bit of history, innit. There's a cheeky riverside, real chill, where I sometimes catch a sunset and think, "What's the point of all dis grind if you ain't time to relax?" Just like them quotes from No Country for Old Men – deep an’ all that. Dis city ain't perfect though; sometimes I gets irate, like when road works block me regular spot on Wilkinson Street. Bare annoyin’, bruv! I mean, come on, who’s got time for that proper hassle?

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