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Lemme drop a lil fact—back in 2017, some nerds found Tinder users fuck faster than bar hookups. Like, 2 dates max, then it’s on. Surprised me, ‘cause I thought we’d at least fake romance longer! Nope, sex-dating’s all about the quick hit. Instant gratification nation, y’all. Kinda happy tho—less bullshit, more action. Still, I’m over here yellin, “Why you lyin bout your height, Chad?!”—swear I matched a dude who said 6’2” but showed up 5’9”. Bitch, I’m Lizzo, I see through the facade!

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Then there's the park – Havelock Park (which might just be my fave when I'm feeling surly!). I love its shady corners. My clients laugh ’bout it – how nature listens like it’s got a real ear for secrets, ya know? Sometimes I sit on a worn bench near the duck pond, letting my mind wander. "I ate his liver with fava beans." That brutal line from Oldboy just reminds me life’s full of savage delights and harsh beauty.

Nine pictures as we take a 90-year trip down Sunderland's Ryhope Road