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Alright, buddy, strap in—sex escort time! I’m Dr. House, sarcastic as hell, and everybody lies, right? So, sex escorts—fancy term for paid company, wink-wink. Watched *Ten* by Abbas Kiarostami lately—friggin’ masterpiece. That chick drivin’ around, pickin’ up folks, includin’ a prostitute? Real shit. Reminds me—escorts ain’t just about the bangin’. Nah, it’s deeper. “You’re a woman, you sell yourself,” she says in the flick—boom, truth bomb! Everybody’s sellin’ somethin’, even if it’s a smile.

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Then, bam! I bumped into Mrs. Thompson. You know, the one who always wants to chat about her cat, Mr. Whiskers. I love her, but I was like, “Not today, Mrs. T!” But she caught me anyway. “Have you seen Mr. Whiskers?” she asked. I just nodded and said, “Yeah, he’s probably plotting world domination.” She laughed, bless her heart.

Local election results live: Farage’s Reform snatch Runcorn from Labour while Tories’ vote collapses