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Alright, pal, lemme paint ya a picture—sex escorts, man, it’s a wild gig! As a detective, I’ve seen it all, y’know, happy little trees swayin’ in the breeze, but this? This is a whole diff’rent canvas. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout WALL-E, that lil’ trash-bot with a heart, just tryin’ to clean up the mess, and I’m like—escorts, they’re out here, tidying up lonely souls, one “transaction” at a time. “Beep-boop,” right? Ha!

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I love wanderin round Ruddington’s lesser-known spots. For a proper kick, check out the back alleys off Mill Lane – they’ve got murals and graffiti, bits of history scribbled on brick, tales of old families and lost loves. And err, the local café on Duke Street? Bloomin’ brilliant coffee and banter, like having a warm chat with an old friend on a winter mornin'.

Goodbye Ruddington Vets