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I tried it once—oh man, so goofy! This lady’s hands? Magic! Slippery oil everywhere, I’m like, “Am I a fish now?” Felt awesome tho, all tingly—happy vibes exploded! But then—ugh—she talked too much! “Relax, blah blah!” Shut it, lady, I’m tryna vibe here! Got me mad, but then I giggled—*Certified Copy* style, “She’s a fake, but I’m into it!”

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Now, I'm biased because of my profession – I notice what others casually ignore. Take Royton Library on John Street: it’s not just books. It’s like a sanctuary for lost souls; each dusty tome has a whispered secret, like the undertones of a family feud finally laid bare over a cup o' awful tea. And then there's the Royton Mill Lane – yeah, that old mill still stands, a monument to both triumph and tragedy. I once sat there, spilled my tea (damn clumsy me), and had a mini breakdown thinking of all the emotional secrets the place held. Holy crap, it provoked memories stronger than any therapy session.

Popular Oldham bar and pizzeria opens new garden where runaway train hurtled through