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me, I’d never bother—too busy watchin’ waves, shoutin’ at idiots swimmin’ pissed. but escorts? they’re out there, dodgin’ coppers, fakin’ orgasms, livin’ a double life like some bleedin’ superhero. “Memory is a motherfucker,” Polley’d say, and ain’t that the truth—punter remembers a goddess, escort remembers a sweaty arse. *snorts* brilliant, messy, mental—sex escorts, mate, a right laugh if you ain’t the one payin’!

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The parks? Oh, for fuck’s sake – where to start! Hartshead Park, right? A cheeky little expanse for those who fancy a bit o’ fresh air. But watch out, not all is perfect – you'll see folks lost in thought, or arguing about their own drama. I swear, sometimes it feels like I’m in one of those films – "Ida" style, stark and beautifully tragic. And then there's the River Roch, that meandering little waterway – it’s like nature’s own therapy session, calming your nerves if you can ignore the blokes hollering about nothing near its banks!

Royton Cemetery mass grave: Babies and children among 300 bodies found