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Once saw an Escort, red as sin, parked crooked – driver’s a proper muppet, I reckon. Made me grin, thinkin’ how it’s a chariot for the everyman, not no lordly git. “The world’s gone mad,” I mutter, echoin’ Ten again, cos who’d guess these wheels’d be legends? Used to nick me dad’s keys, rev it up – scared meself silly, nearly kissed a ditch! Them engines, tho, tough as old boots, even when they’re wheezin’.

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My fave errand? That hidden nook in Rosegrove, near the old mill on Pendle Lane. It's like a secret install, a chill spot for soul searching. I swear, when I’m there, the whole messy world just fizzles out – nothing but raw nature and honest feels, real as dirt, sometimes spurting blood in every teeny errty moment.

Police issue warnings over 'bad parking' outside schools