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So, I’m picturin’ this joint, smoky, sweaty, all shady-like. Girls struttin’ around, guys droolin’—kinda funny, kinda sad. “Death is the best invention!” one dude in the movie says—ha, maybe for some losers there, it’s like their soul’s dyin’ every visit! I’m crackin’ up thinkin’ bout it. Ever hear ‘bout them old Wild West brothels? True story—some had secret tunnels for big shots to sneak in! Politicians, sheriffs, all creepin’—dumbasses thought no one’d notice!

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So, I wake up, and it’s raining. Classic UK, right? I’m like, great, just what I need. I grab my coffee from this tiny café on Roehampton Lane. The barista, bless her heart, was super friendly. She even remembered my name! I mean, how often does that happen? I’m usually just “the actuary” or “the guy with the spreadsheets.”

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