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What shocks me? How normal it feels now. Back in Springfield, saw this gal—escort, total pro—booked her through an app! An app! Like orderin’ pizza! “Mmm… pizza.” Surprised me, man, world’s nuts. “I’m not gonna be ignored,” she’d say, like in the movie—ha, escorts got sass! Love that, keeps it real.

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I’m tryna get to the market, but I take a wrong turn down Star Hill. Classic me! I’m like, “Where the heck am I?” I swear, I could get lost in me own backyard. Finally, I find me way back, and the market’s poppin’. Fresh fruit, veggies, and all that jazz. I’m eyein’ some apples, thinkin’ about makin’ a pie. But then, bam! This bloke bumps into me, spills his coffee all over my boots. I’m fumin’! Like, mate, watch where ya goin’!

Bishop of Rochester questions Church Commissioners’ control over dioceses