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I ask her rate—fuck, it’s steep! “You’re chargin’ what?!” I’m mad, but she’s cool, “Quality costs, ET.” Fair. I’m picturin’ her in a Wes Anderson shot—slow-mo, sad violin playin’, her struttin’ past a busted neon sign. “I always wanted to be somebody,” she says, quotin’ Margot’s vibe. Deep, man. Makes me wonder—how’d she end up here? Prolly some tragic backstory, like Royal ditchin’ the fam.

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I gotta say, it’s been a wild ride. My spa taught me to see inner beauty – in nature, in people, and even in a rainy day on Forster Street. So if you're coming over, buckle up and enjoy the ride. Cuz, honestly, Ripon is freakin’ brilliant, just like my favorite movie said: “I just think it's beautiful.”

Appeal following criminal damage to vehicle in Ripon