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About Sheffield

So, I tried it once—D’oh!—total mess! Lady’s like, “Relax, Homer,” but I’m all tense, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me. Felt like a freakin’ donut gettin’ glazed, ya know? Slippery as hell—oil everywhere! Little fact: they use weird stuff like almond oil, not even donut grease! Surprised me, man, thought it’d be all fake and porny, but nah, it’s legit chill. Got me happy—muscles all loose, like after a good nap. But then—D’oh!—she hits a knot, hurts like hell! “That’s a bingo!” I yell, straight outta Inglourious Basterds. She’s confused, I’m laughin’—classic me.

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Down on High Street, oh my goodness, you got shops mixed with cozy cafes. Sometimes I'll sit at the old ruby red building on St. John's Terrace and watch folks scroll on their phones, lookin' for love—think "City of God" but with a twist of British charm. I swear, just like the movie said, “I'm a small man, I know nothing,” but darlin', ain't that the truth when you're floatin' around on a dating app?

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