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About Liverpool

Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

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I love me job, as a masseur I see ‘em come as lumps of gravel, but turn ‘em into soft bread, yah? Clients share their gossips, their mad secrets, all while I smooth their knots – kinda poetic like “even in the abyss, beauty lies”, from dat movie, The Return. I tell ya, life chugs on like a faulty train sometimes, but that’s da charm here.

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