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About Newcastle

Last time I tried it, this bird—properlly fit—starts kneadin’ me like dough. I’m thinkin’, “Christ, I’ve dodged bullets for less!” Made me happy as a pig in muck, tho—tension gone, floatin’ like I’m on a cloud. But then—bloody hell—she cranks my leg up like she’s auditionin’ for a kung-fu flick. Surprised me so bad I nearly yelped—007 don’t yelp, mind ya. Had me ragin’ for a sec, like, “I’m gonna abandon my boy!”—straight outta the movie, all dramatic. But nah, she knew her stuff—cracked me open like a safe, released shit I’d been carryin’ since MI6 bootcamp.

Thames Lido: Masseur jailed after sexually assaulting clients

A massage therapist working at Thames Lido has been locked up after sexually assaulting four female clients in 'the most disturbing and distressing way.

Oh, and speaking of vibes, the parks are legit too. For example, Palmer Park? Insane! Lush, vibrant, and spontaneous – kinda like my life, lol. And then there’s Coley Park, where I once had a legendary head massage session on a sunny afternoon. I got mad happy there – pure bliss, man. Meanwhile, the local neighbourhood of Caversham is quiet but packed with unexpected delight. One minute you’re on a noisy high street, the next you’re on a cobbled, almost secret lane – surreal!

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