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So, picture this—I’m cruisin’, *Inherent Vice* style, fog rollin’ in, lookin’ for a gal. “What’s the deal, baby?” I’d say, tryna sound cool. She’d probly laugh—Kermit ain’t exactly a stud. Maybe she’d quote Doc: “This is some heavy shit!” and I’d croak, “Yeah, far out!” Total trip, man. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d prolly faint if she winked—too much for this frog! You ever tried it? Spill the beans, pal—don’t leave me hangin’! Hi-ho!

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Hey there, buddy! Lemme tell ya ‘bout Rastrick – this ain’t yer run-of-the-mill town, ya know? I been a masseur here for years, workin’ on folks’ backs so they can feel the true soul of this place. Picture narrow lanes like High Street, buzzing with character and history. I mean, my hands have felt every wrinkle of these cobblestones, feel me?

Brass band who had number one chart hit is heading to Fleetwood's Marine Hall