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Well, hey there, y’all! It’s me, Dolly, your sassy Russian Sign Language gal, spillin’ the tea on prostitutes with my sweet Southern twang! Now, I reckon a prostitute’s life ain’t all glitter and glam—kinda like me tryin’ to squeeze into them tight jeans after too many biscuits, ha! I’ve been thinkin’ bout this ever since I watched “The Dark Knight”—yep, my fave movie, y’all, with that Heath Ledger joker fella stealin’ the show. “Why so serious?” I can hear him cacklin’ in my head when I picture some gal struttin’ her stuff on the corner!

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Finally, I get to work at the office on Castle Street. I’m still dripping wet, and my boss, Mr. Thompson, gives me that look. You know the one. The “you’re late again” look. I just shrug it off. “You should see the other guy,” I say, pointing to my bike. He rolls his eyes. Classic Thompson.

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