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I’d say, if thou’s seekin’, use thy noggin. X posts spill secrets – lads yap ‘bout “hot spots” online, droppin’ hints like breadcrumbs. But beware, ‘tis a gamble! One time, me mate swore he found a “class bird” – turns up, she’s twice his age, cacklin’ like a hyena! “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I told him, pissin’ meself laughin’. He’s fumin’, I’m chuffed – dark humor, innit?

Nobody is coming soon

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Finally, I get to work at the office on Castle Street. I’m still dripping wet, and my boss, Mr. Thompson, gives me that look. You know the one. The “you’re late again” look. I just shrug it off. “You should see the other guy,” I say, pointing to my bike. He rolls his eyes. Classic Thompson.

Northern Lights over Northern Ireland: these 29 pictures from our readers are simply stunning