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So, I’m thinkin’, right, what’s the deal with these massages? Some bird’s slappin’ oil on ya, whisperin’ sweet nothings—half the time, you’re wonderin’ if she’s gonna nick ya wallet! Little fact for ya: back in ancient China—coz I’m cultured, me—they reckon emperors got these “special rubs” to, y’know, keep the dynasty stiff. Cacklin’ already, ain’t I? Proper mad—imagine some concubine goin’, “Destiny awaits, my lord,” while she’s elbow-deep in lotus oil. Straight out the movie, that—“The sword is yours!”—except it’s a towel and a dodgy wink.

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Alright, so another thing – the vibe here is meme-worthy. Imagine landing a Tesla in Ramsgate. I joke that we’re the Elon Musk of coastal towns. Yeah, it's extra breezy, extra chill, and a wee bit unpredictable. And my personal fave is cruising down Pier Road with the sea roaring, making me feel like I'm in a Wes Anderson frame. Seriously epic!

Survival action thriller written by Ramsgate duo set to start filming with international cast this summer