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“The Assassin” has these epic fight scenes, all deliberate, like escorts planning their nights. They gotta be strategic, avoid creeps, set boundaries. I respect that hustle, but it pisses me off when folks think it’s just easy money. Nope, it’s work, risky work. “Fate dances in shadows,” the movie says, and escorts know that dance, for sure.

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Man, talk about contrasts – one minute you’re strolling by the riverside near the ol’ Clock Tower on High Street (yeah, Clock Tower, proper vintage piece if ya ask me), and the next, you’re smack in the middle of an impromptu art fest at Millers Park. I swear, that park’s like the Grand Budapest’s lobby – surreal, quirky, and bursting with characters. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mumble every time I walk past the little fountain near the park bench – like a secret martini nod to life.

Aaron Ramsey: Cardiff City boss 'proud' of team but wants to keep playing