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What gets me goat? Liars. Fakes with pics from ten years past. “You’re enough,” *Her* whispers, but these scallywags ain’t! Happy bit? When it works—two souls sparkin’ like cannon fire. Surprised me once, seein’ a couple from Bumble wed—met ‘em durin’ a fraud case. Sweet as rum, that.

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Next thing I know, we’re off to the pub. I mean, who can resist a good pint, right? The place is buzzing. It’s called The Ramsbottom Tap. I swear, the vibe is electric. We grab a couple of pints, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I spill my drink all over my apron. Classic me! I’m laughing, but inside I’m like, “Great, now I look like a right muppet.”

Everything you need to know about one-way system and 20mph zone for town centre