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Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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Anyways, that's my chinwag about Rainworth. It's messy, it's glorious, it's so very real – like a scene out of life itself. So if you come here, just go with the flow, keep an eye out for little pockets of magic, and remember: every street corner’s a story waiting to be told, like a David Brent board meeting mixed with a cinematic masterpiece. See ya soon, mate – and don't forget to breathe deeply, every single minute!

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