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So, check this—sex-dating’s wild, man! Apps buzzin’ like flies on a corpse, profiles promisin’ “fun” but deliverin’ headaches! I once matched with this chick—swore she was a model—turns out, she’s catfishin’ harder than a river rat! *giggles* “Where’s the boat?” I’d ask, like in *The Return*, ‘cept there’s no boat, just a sinkin’ feelin’! Made me mad as hell—wasted my night, ya dig? But then—bam!—another time, I hit gold! This dude, total freak, knew tricks that’d make a circus blush—left me happy as a clown on payday!
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The rest of the day is a blur. I fix a couple more watches, deal with some cranky customers, and even manage to sell a vintage pocket watch. Score! But then, just as I’m about to close up, I get a surprise visit from my old mate, Sam. He’s back in town after ages. We hit the pub on Nottingham Road, and I’m feelin’ all nostalgic.
TV news man to run for Radcliffe in Nottinghamshire council elections
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