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Halfway through, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Tom. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this! There’s a cat stuck in a tree on Foxley Lane!” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, who cares about a cat in a tree? But then I remember my childhood cat, Whiskers. I loved that little furball. So, I’m torn between saving the cat and keeping my job.

Croydon mayor’s revised plan aims to reopen Purley swimming pool