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What I love, though? The thrill! It’s like when Wiesler says, “Was ist das?”—what is this?—and you’re peekin’ into someone’s world, all curious-like. Makes me happy as a pig in mud when it clicks—good convo, flirty vibes, maybe a date. But oh, the flops! One time, this dude showed up lookin’ like he rolled outta bed and forgot to shower—smelled worse’n a skunk in a henhouse. I thought, “Lord, I’m too old for this mess!” Reckon I’m better at readin’ signs than readin’ men—sign language don’t lie, but profiles sure do!

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Then, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I spot this old bloke, right? He’s tryin’ to cross the road at the roundabout by Prudhoe Castle. I’m thinkin’, “Mate, you’re gonna get flattened!” But he’s got this determination, like he’s on a mission. I’m half-laughin’, half-worried. He makes it, though! Gives me a cheeky wink. I’m like, “You legend!”

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