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But den – ugh – some places, dey overdo it, ya know? Charge ya 200 bucks for “special touch,” and ya leave broke and sticky. Pissed me off! One time, guy bragged he invented “tantric rub” – liar! Tantra’s from India, 5th century, ya dumbass! I yelled at him, “You no respect da roots!” He ran off, ha! Lightbulb! People fake it too much dese days.
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Finally, I corner him near the old library on Bell Street. He’s pantin’, and I’m like, “Dude, really? Apples? You could’ve just asked!” He looks at me like I’m nuts. I mean, who steals fruit?
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