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About London

So, erotic-massage—proper lush, yeah? Hands sliding about, oils everywhere, bit of a cheeky vibe. Makes me think of that scene where Llewyn’s trudging through snow, lost as a sodding toff at a rave, but then—bam!—imagine him stumbling into some dodgy massage parlour instead. “Where’s my gig?” he’d moan, and some lass with magic fingers goes, “Relax, mate, this *is* the gig!” Ha! Chuckles me right up, that does.

Call to book

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Up the hill, there’s the Prestonpans War Memorial—a stately landmark reminding us of our courage. Man, that place gets me proper emotional. Sometimes, I’m thinking “It’s showtime!” when I see tourists gawking around its stone reliefs. I’m like, “Oi, take a seat and enjoy the performance!”

Two cars vandalised in Prestonpans; police believe incidents are linked