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About Liverpool

Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starvin’. I head over to the market on Friargate. Best place for a sarnie, I swear. I grab a bacon butty, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m sittin’ there, just enjoyin’ life, when I see this old fella tryin’ to cross the street. He’s takin’ his sweet time, and I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, mate, I’ve got a bacon butty to finish!”

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