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What pisses me off? Idiots who think it’s easy. Like, mate, you try hikin’ with blue balls! Surprised me how dumb some are—saw one slip, nearly died. “One more day,” he begged, like Monty in the flick. I just smirked—pathetic. Happiest I got? When this rich twat tipped me extra. Said he “found himself” up there. Yeah, right—found a hooker, more like.

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First off, I’m rollin’ down Fishergate, and it’s like the whole city’s still asleep. I’m thinkin’, “Great, I’ll get to work early.” But nah, the universe had other plans. I hit a pothole so deep, I thought I’d found a new underground tunnel. My coffee went flyin’, and I’m sittin’ there like a muppet, tryin’ to clean my lap. Brilliant start, right?

Canadian-owned MB Chicken launches in Preston’s Miller Arcade