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About Liverpool

What gets me happy? She’s got sass, man, real fire. Not like those dead-eyed gals who just stand there. Surprised me too – she knew the Coen brothers! Said *Inside Llewyn Davis* was “fuckin bleak but dope.” I’m like, *shit, a cinephile prostitute?* That’s rare as hell. I’m imaginin her in my lair, discussin art over a plate of… well, ya know – “I ate his liver with fava beans.”

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, proper rain. I’m sprinting back to my car, chips flying everywhere. I’m soaked, and my hair looks like a wet mop. I’m laughing at myself, thinking, “This is just classic Portstewart.” I hop in the car, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s get outta here.”

Merrow Hotel & Spa Portstewart: Green light for new £20m hotel on north coast