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So, if yer lookin’, watch the signs, mate. Don’t be a Robert Ford, stabbin’ backs for a laugh. “You shall not pass!”—not ‘til you’ve got respect in ya. That’s my take—now sod off and lemme watch my movie!
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Then, I head to the Portlethen Community Centre. They were having some event, and I thought, “Why not?” I walk in, and it’s a bingo night. I’ve never played bingo in my life. But hey, I’m here for the experience. I sit down, and the lady next to me is super into it. She’s shouting numbers like she’s at a football match. I’m just trying to keep up. I didn’t win, but I did make a new friend. Her name’s Margaret, and she’s a hoot. We bonded over our mutual love for bad sweaters.
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