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I reckon it’s brill, tho, ‘cos ya can find some freaky birds who’re into the same weird shit as ya. Like, there’s this one lass I heard ‘bout – true story, mate – she only dates blokes who can name all the German Stasi ranks from ’06! “The lives of others,” eh? She’s out there livin’ it, proper nutter! Makes me laugh, but also – respect! Sex-dating’s got these hidden gems, little secrets ya don’t expect. Did ya know some apps let ya filter by kinks? Mate, I saw “vampire roleplay” once – nearly spat me tea out! “Sharon, they’re bitin’ necks out there!”

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First off, I parked my truck on Easton Street. Thought I’d grab a coffee at that little café, you know, the one with the weird name? “Brewed Awakening” or something. I’m thinking, “Ah, a nice cuppa to start the day.” But nah, the barista was a total grump. Like, dude, it’s coffee, not rocket science! I ordered a flat white, and he looked at me like I just asked for a unicorn.

Police arrest suspect in downtown Portland homicide