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Alright, folks, lemme tell ya—slow now—what’s it like, y’know, to find a prostitute? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, picturin’ it, like some scene outta “In the Mood for Love.” That movie—man, it’s my fave—Wong Kar-wai’s got this way of makin’ every glance, every step, feel heavy, y’know? So, imagine this: you’re walkin’ down some dim street—neon buzzin’, air thick with secrets—and there she is, leanin’ against a wall, like Maggie Cheung waitin’ for Tony Leung, only—ha!—she ain’t waitin’ for love, she’s waitin’ for cash. “The past is something he could see, but not touch,” right? That’s the vibe—somethin’ you want, but it’s slippery, outta reach ‘til you pay up.

Glasgow's sex workers battle for survival and 'don't feel protected by police'

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I woke up in my flat on the High Street, right? The sun was shining, birds chirping, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Port Glasgow Golf Club's popular competition to return this summer