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But then, ugh, modern crap pisses me off. Shady parlors, neon signs blinkin “massage” – liars, most of em! Research says 70% ain’t legit, just fronts for sketchy shit. Surprised, I was, diggin into stats – thought it’d be less. “You’re a machine,” Sissy’d say in “Shame,” and yeah, some masseuses, robots they are, no soul in their fingers. Hate that, I do – gimme real connection or nothin.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Esplanade. The view is stunning, but my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Hey, can you send me that report?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Port-Glasgow, not in the office!” But I can’t say no. So, I’m frantically typing on my phone, trying to get this report done while dodging seagulls and kids with fireworks. Talk about multitasking!

A8 crash sees long tailbacks in Port Glasgow after three car accident