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Wes Anderson’d film this with quirky vibes, yeah? Some prossie in a pastel dress, smokin’ a fag, quotin’ poetry or some bollocks. “I’m a little lonely these days,” she’d say, like Margot fuckin’ Tenenbaum. Piss off with that—real life ain’t so cute! It’s grimy, loud, and stinks of desperation.

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Then I hit up the Quay. Man, the view is stunning! Boats everywhere, seagulls squawking like they own the place. I’m just standing there, soaking it all in, when I see this kid feeding the ducks. Adorable, right? But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches the bread right outta his hand! I’m dying laughing. Poor kid’s face was priceless.

'Dangerous’ wall left unrepaired for years leaves Poole resident frustrated