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Sometimes I think, man, escorts got it figured out. Better than datin’ some naggy chick who’s all “Where ya been, Cartman?” They just show up, look hot, leave—boom, done! “Theodore, you’re my only friend!”—that’s me talkin’ to my imaginary escort pal. Ha! Oh, and get this—some escorts in Vegas? They got secret codes, like “roses” means bucks. Sneaky, huh? Surprised me, I was like “Whaaat, that’s genius!”

We cover Merthyr Tydfil, Pontypridd, South Wales and West Wales

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously, it’s sunny one minute, and the next, I’m drenched. I’m sprinting down the streets of Pontypridd, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. I pass by the old market, and it’s packed. People are huddled under awnings, looking like wet cats. I can’t help but chuckle.

At first he noticed his arm wasn't moving properly. Now he's stranded in hospital