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Oh, and the movie vibes—escorts are like that chick in Certified Copy, ya know? All mysterious, playin’ a role. “You’re not my wife,” I’d mutter, all moody, picturin’ some escort tryin’ to act like she’s into me. Hilarious, right? I’d exaggerate it too—tell her, “I’m a king, bitch, treat me like one!”—then trip over my own damn feet, ‘cause I’m Cartman, duh.

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After the fire drama, we finally get back inside. The workshop wraps up, and I’m feeling all the feels. But then, I get a call for an emergency interpreting gig at the hospital. Ugh, can’t a person catch a break? So, I dash over to the Royal Glamorgan Hospital.

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