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So, check it—massage been around forever. Ancient Greeks? Rubbin’ down athletes, oiled up, half-naked—prolly got frisky too, who knows! Then there’s this Thai style, “nuad boran,” means ancient touch—sounds classy, but it’s steamy as hell. Hands slidin’, bodies twistin’, tension just—poof! Gone! I’m like, damn, humans, you sneaky geniuses! Saw this X post once, dude swore Cleopatra invented erotic-massage with rose oil—bullshit, but I’d buy it, sounds dope.

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So, we decided to hit up the local pub, The Red Lion. It’s a classic. We grabbed a pint and started chatting about life, love, and all that jazz. But then, outta nowhere, this old bloke starts tellin’ us about his “glory days” in the ‘70s. I swear, he was so loud, the whole pub could hear him. He was like, “Back in my day, we didn’t have all this fancy stuff!” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

Pontyclun primary school on track to open next year